So there i was swimming away at the slab we all know and love so well when i suddenly realise i've turned into a big fat girls blouse. Things turned from whooping every wave to bricking my wetsuit thinking that everything is about to go wrong. I was fucked, what am i even doing here! Nothing was different, i'd swam many a time in similar conditions no problems, loving the fear but for some reason all of a sudden a switch went whereby the fear turned from this wicked adrenalin rush to being just down right petrifying. It's crazy how your mindset can change so dramatically, instantaneously and be so completely overwhelming. The sprint out when a set was approaching went from la la la just keep swimming, just keep swimming to SHIT SHIT SHIT I'M NOT GOING TO MAKE IT, OH MY GOD I'M FUCKED WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING HERE. I eventually ended up almost 20 yards further out than Mickey who was sitting on a bloody ski way off on the shoulder. I was as safe as houses but for some reason still freaking out. My head had gone crazy. I managed to calm myself down enough to get through the swim back in but once I was in and settled it took me ages before I could figure out what happened. It's funny how you don't put a time on experience, well i suppose that is until something does it for you, and how trying to control your state of mind can be straight up impossible. On the upside though i love a good challenge, especially when it's against my own personnel limitations, so i'm psyched on getting back out there and being maybe a little bit less of a bitch!
Oh yeah and to make a shit session even worse when i took my camera out of the housing it turned out every shot was out of focus for some reason. Time to put an x through that entire day and move on me thinks!!
